Saturday, March 30, 2013

Even more weasel phrases...part three

-It should not have gone out
-Just an error [Mayor's office]
Dean Tudor, Ryerson University Journalism Professor Emeritus
Treasurer, Wine Writers' Circle of Canada
Look it up and you'll remember it; screw it up and you'll never forget it.
Creator of Canada's award-winning wine satire site at

Monday, March 25, 2013

Schadenford At First Presser After Attending "Wordstock"


(With apologies to Stuart Wade's "The Briefing"...)

[Setting: media conference room of Toronto City Hall. A dozen reporters
are crowded into the cramped space. At the rear of the
media horde, there are several video cameras, with lights shining
across to illuminate Mayor Schadenford who
stands behind a microphone-strewn lectern to address the group,
presumably to talk about the financing of new subways. He had been cautioned
to choose his words carefully, with his newly acquired verbal skills.]

Schadenford speaks: We all know that there's a specific piece of
information in question
here. And with regard to it, let me first state that I know you all
would like for me to say what we all think I'm coming before you to
say. I would like to make it very clear, however, that I do not intend
to say it. In addition, I will neither confirm nor deny it. So now
that we all understand each other, are there any questions?

REPORTER 1: Will you say what we want you to say?

Schadenford: Not exactly as you would have me say it. [pointing to
REPORTER 2] Yes -- over there?

REPORTER 2: Is the thing we all want you to say, in fact, true?

Schadenford: I'm not saying if it is or it isn't. It would be premature to
judge that.

REPORTER 3: Since you're not saying the precise thing we all want you to
say, will
you say it, but in a slightly different way?

Schadenford: You mean in a way that would have the same meaning as the way
would all want me to say it?

REPORTER 3: That is correct.

Schadenford: I'm not prepared at this time to do that. [making eye contact

REPORTER 4: If you won't say what we all would like you to say, or if you
say it in a slightly different way, will you at least say one or a
couple of parts of what we all want you to say?

Schadenford: If there is a situation where that would become prudent for
me to say
part or parts of what you all want me to say, I would, yes. But now is
not the time.

REPORTER 5: When will it be time?

Schadenford: I don't know the answer to that. I wanted to add something at
point, before we continue. There are some people involved behind the
scenes with this thing who deserve to be recognized for all their hard
work. This thing has been a team effort all the way, and thanks to
them, a real win-win situation as well. [pointing to REPORTER 6] Yes,
go ahead.

REPORTER 6: This information that we all want you to disclose -- might
one of us
be able to trick you into divulging what we all want you to say?

Schadenford: If I am slow-witted at that moment, or if I'm not being too
careful in
choosing my words right then, and if one of you people displays
extremely shrewd questioning skills, then yes, it is possible.
[shielding his eyes] Yes -- all the way in the back, Miss.

REPORTER 7: I think I know the information we all want you to say but
that you
aren't saying, and here it is [she says something inaudible]. Isn't
that right?

Schadenford: [angrily] Do you expect me to answer that? Next

REPORTER 8: When can we expect you to say what we all want you to say?

Schadenford: Relatively soon.

REPORTER 8: Can you be more specific?

Schadenford: Well, we are expediting this process so I would imagine
sooner than
you might think, but I don't want to mislead any of you as to exactly
when. [indicating silver-haired woman seated in front row of media]
Yes, Veronica?

REPORTER 9: I heard some experts giving their opinions about the
information we
all want you to say. Can you respond to these expert comments?

Schadenford: Well, I can't speculate on others' comments. And, I'm not an
[looks up to assembled throng] I have time for one more question. In
the middle there, yes -- you sir? [points to bearded man standing in
center of group].

REPORTER 10: Might I interject a witty comment at this juncture to break
up the
tension? [says something inaudible]

[everyone laughs and then the press conference is over, and Schadenford


Can I buy your vote for a Yankee Buck???


Bon mots -- again

"I just think that it's perplexing to have the mayor of the city calling in about this issue, particularly because it's in front of a jury and he knew that, but more so because he seemed to be uneducated about [the phrase] 'not criminally responsible' and what that means," Leora Shemesh, lawyer, Star March 25/13.
"It is truly astonishing that the Mayor of Toronto espouses such a gross misunderstanding of the law and mental illness," said Toronto lawyer Sean Robichaud. "There is also something unsettling and disrespectful to the justice system when a politician of his position provides his opinion on a verdict that he seems to know little about, the night before the jury is set to deliberate." Star, March 25/13

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Even more Bon Mots

"I don't know how people can refuse $150-million or $200-million of revenue and 10,000 good-paying jobs. I don't see how they can say no to that." -- Rob Ford on Toronto Casino, Feb 2013...
[Rob: How about just "NO".]
"All I want him [Mayor Ford] to do is stop slagging our school. He has to stop using our school and our students -- putting them down to make himself look good" -- D.Way, parent, Globe, March 2013.
"Even the struggles between [Mayor Ford] and the council are helpful because you're giving leadership opportunities to new councillors." -- David Crombie, March 23/13, Star

Monday, March 4, 2013

More bon mots

-[Schadenford's] behaviour has been emboldened by deep ignorance, deeper indifference, and a rampaging sense of entitlement. -- C. Hume, Star, March 1/13.

-"We've got the casino, we've got the Gardiner (Expressway) and we've got the election. I think a lot of people are already in that election mode and just wrapping up a few loose ends and we're going to be on the campaign trail. We're going to be getting, guaranteed getting, subways. - Schadenford, Sun TV

-"The mayor has his own approach to dialoguing with the federal government. There are public ways to do it and private ways to do it."  Coun. Minnan-Wong, Star, March 4/13

-"Rob Ford can yell 'subways, subways, subways'  all he wants, but if he's not on the train when it goes to Ottawa he's not getting any cash. It's an abysmal failure of leadership" -- Coun. Adam Vaughan, Star, March 4/13.



Friday, March 1, 2013

Latest Bon Mots re: Schadenford

-I hope it reassures Torontonians that Rob, the Ford they've known and trusted, would never do anything wrong.
-I would never knowingly fiddle anything.
-You get one shot at genuinely being the naive person. Don't attempt it again just because it worked the first time.
-I don't understand what the rules are around here any more. I don't even know what to say about that [mailout to lobbyists] -- Coun. Josh Colle, March 1/13, Star