Monday, October 27, 2014


TRAWNA (GOSH News Services) – Councillor Doug Ford, who ran for election as Toronto's Mayor, has decided to call for a recount, despite losing by 65,000 votes.  "The fix was in," said the councillor. "They deliberately miscounted the ballots – I need to see every one of them, to find the errors. Come on, everybody who votes in Toronto loves me. I brought in a whack of grass from Colorado, and you're telling me that I lost the election? Not possible...."

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Ford Trade-Ins

TRAWNA – (GOSH News Services) – GOSH has just found out that apparently, the current Rob Ford model has been recalled due to some problems with its internal combustion engine (something about belching black gas)...
Owners are required to show evidence of ownership and go to their closest Ford dealership in order to pick up the substitute model, Doug Ford.
The latest model (not necessarily the newest) is the Druggie, er, Dougie line, more powerful than the Robbery, er, Robbie line, but still prone to gaffes in its pickup. There are also slight problems with its deceleration procedures which might lead to whiplash, but that is usually cured by its rapid acceleration in times of need. The model is usually more focused than one would think.
More news on this recall as it happens....

Monday, August 18, 2014

Re: Schadenford is an Idiot, part 789

Hi Dean.........Thanks for the memo......after consulting me, myself and I......
                  can only say that Rob's grasp of truth is truly beyond belief or understanding.
                  He's definitely no entertaining Honest Liar...................Chimo, Jean

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Schadenford is an Idiot, part 789

Re – explosives at City Hall Monday August 11/14:
Monday – when asked whether he was acting on the advice of police by publicizing the threat, Schadenford responded: "No, I'm acting on my own advice."
But Friday – Schadenford said: "I talked to police. They came into my office. Should I go out and talk to the media? Yes, do exactly that."
and Friday – Toronto Police responded – "The officers were spoken to by their supervisors, and the officers' recollection differs."
      Repeat - "I talked to police. They came into my office. Should I go out and talk to the media? Yes, do exactly that."
But again, Friday – Schadenford said: "I called security and I did exactly what security told me to do"
and Friday – "City Hall security staff was not consulted in the mayor's media strategy"
    Repeat -  "I called security and I did exactly what security told me to do"
So what happened to "No, I'm acting on my own advice." ???
Great material for a re-election campaign...Amazon has no total claim on doublespeak...

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Schadenford's Appellative Function

Have you noticed that reportage on Schadenford now includes the word "falsely" or "untruthfully", as in "Ford falsely suggested spending..." or "Ford untruthfully said that gravy....".
Try a Google search. BTW, these same words are also being applied to Doug Ford, as revealed by the search.
In that context, Ford was interviewed on Fairchild TV and "falsely" suggested that spending for the Waterfront Toronto project of Sugar Beach was approved during his two-month stint in rehab.
He said:  "As soon as I go away they go and spend a million dollars on rocks and umbrellas. The gravy train obviously was back on the rails as soon as I'm away"
[Sugar Beach was actually completed in August 2010, before Ford was even elected]
To drugs and alcohol, may we also add "delusions of grandeur"? Meet our Mayor – Schadenford the False !!


Saturday, May 3, 2014

Doug Ford again, to confirm..



Doug Ford to run instead of Rob Ford?

Why not Doug Ford? Who better to carry on the name --
His motto:  "All of the sleaziness with none of the embarrassment."